so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
