please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
