His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
