never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
either way he was missing a nipple.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
