I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She announced her abortion via fbk
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
