and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
This house was built for laser tag.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
