You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
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