I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
