i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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