And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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