she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
