yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
