I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
