Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
