Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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