I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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