I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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