Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize