I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize