Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
