Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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