At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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