Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
