home. puking in laundry basket.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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