Kiss
Puke
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
