They should really pass out barf bags in church
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
