And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
