LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
