pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
