I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
