I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize