I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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