if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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