I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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