you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
