she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
