I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
