I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
