U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
