6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
