Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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