i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
