he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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