And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize