I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
