can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
