I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize