so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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