When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
