Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
