This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
