best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
