Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
