I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
