This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
