What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You know, be my cock's hype man.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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