also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
