don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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