Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize