see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize