My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
