so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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