Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
