My nipple is on Facebook.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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